Sunday, May 24, 2009

Top 10 Ways to Spend Memorial Day Weekend, Okie Style

10. Discover bubbles.

I know what you're all saying. "Aw!" "Oh, how cute!" "Look at those curls!"

See? Like I said, I know.

9. Bake!


I just don't know what I did wrong.

Well, actually, I might have a few ideas. I let it rise for an hour and a half, punched it down and let it rise for another hour where I should have let it rise for an hour, punched it down and let it rise for another 30 minutes. When I brushed on the egg white, this overinflated baguette wannabe sort of, well, deflated.

Now it's an oblong focaccia. Yeah, that's it - an asymmetrical, UFO-reminiscent, mildly pitiful oblong focaccia.

Mildly. This is what happens to a person when she is not only on the brink of insanity thanks to the styrofoam we call bread in this part of the country, but also trying to save $1.79. Because the Coupon Queen has bit me. Hard. I'm bruised and bleeding, but at least I'm leaking sanity and not cash this time.

8. Terrorize defenseless puppies.

Oh, boy.

All I can say is, Welcome to the family, little doggies.

7. Grow dimples.

As if you needed a reason.

6. Eat stuff.

Why, no, a love of food doesn't run in the family - I just don't know why you would suggest such a thing.

5. Eat more stuff.

Cheese it up, Dad. Cheese it up.

4. Rock out while, you guessed it, eating stuff.

From whence I came. Now you all don't have to wonder what's wrong with me anymore.

Just kidding, Dad. You keep on rockin'.

3. Make green Jello.

Now in Lilting Lime flavor. Don't offer any to the kids, if you know what I mean.

2. Bust a move.

The Lilting Lime Jello served in the smart little martini glasses had nothing to do with this. Nothing at all.

1. Smile.

How can you help it? It's the Oklahoma way.

Have a great holiday, everyone. Consume your Jello responsibly.


Alicia said...

This is so fun!! I love your family, they are all so cute!!!

Brenda said...

OK, I randomly found your blog the other day so I started reading old posts. Your dad is my neighbor! I live across the street. What a small world.

Tasha said...

Brenda, how funny! Glad to make the connection. I'm glad for you and your neighborhood that my stepmom won't let my dad put his pink flamingo lawn ornaments outside - they stay safely out of sight upstairs. Ha!

Brenda said...

LOL. They were outside for a while. But I don't mind them. My last neighbor had them too. I think they're kind of cute. =) BTW, has anyone ever told your dad he kind of looks like Ralphie from A Christmas Story as a grown-up?

Paul said...

Actually, Tasha, the pink chickens are right outside our front door, but kind of hidden from view by the bushes in front. And I do have more inside, and's a Flamingo Paradise!

Tasha said...

Dad, you can't see me, but I'm shaking my head. With love, of course.

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails