I Was Raised By Elves.

Actually, I was raised by the head elf himself: Santa Claus.

Actually, I was raised by a guy who looks strikingly like Santa Claus when he wears red clothing and wire-rimmed glasses and appears in photos with children rattling off their wish lists.


Here's what he looks like in real life. There's really no family resemblance between us. None at all, actually.

Nope. None whatsoever. And never mind about the matching Hawaiian clothing and my giant helmet hair. We did it for a wedding.

My dad has served in many capacities as Santa around T-Town. Most recently he was the official Santa of the now-defunct holiday event at Tulsa Zoo, Zoolightful (remember that, anyone?). A few weekends ago, local photographer Maggie McKenney snagged him as her Santa for a set of Christmas shoots.

Heh. With four kids in their twenties and one just on the other side of the faith-in-Santa veil (three of which he acquired the day that Elvis-in-Hawaii wedding photo I showed you earlier in this post was taken - and, yes, I'm pretty sure the theme was his idea), I bet he thought he'd never have to go through this again.

Then, he went and bought a Santa suit. Now it seems folks want to put their kids on my dad's lap and take photos of him.

Funny how that works. Right, Dad?

Here's to having my very own Santa Claus, on-call any time I need him. When you have a need for Santa, you can call him, too. Just mention how good he looks in his new Santa suit and how much you love Elvis and you'll be on his good side.

Merry Christsmas Eve, everybody. May Santa brave the sleet and snow and the lines at Walgreens for those last-minute batteries he meant to buy last week to bring you call kinds of rad things to open by the Christmas tree tomorrow morning. Amen.