Thursday, June 11, 2009

Critters

I have critter-induced post-traumatic stress disorder. I've had nightmares, out-of-body experiences, jumpiness, you name it. All because of a three-foot bull snake Papa Ball spotted crawling from our attic last weekend.

We live in the middle of town. There's no reason any three-foot critter should exist here. My former country-ish life has returned to haunt me, bringing with it its gross, slimy, scaly critter trappings.

So, this is how I've been feeling. Imagine my reaction when, earlier this morning, I walked in on this:

Do you see it?

I had to lure my child away from the "fugie" using Mini Chips Ahoy (lifesavers, people, livesavers) and trick the little critter into jumping onto the closest thing I could find so I could promptly fling him out the front door, all the while screaming much more like the little frog was in my pants rather than on my favorite laundry basket.

I have snakes and frogs in my house. My son wants to put them all in his mouth. And, yes, I play favorites with my laundry baskets.

Please send help.

9 comments:

Jeff Shaw said...

Sounds like you're going to have to call someone. Do you guy's have pond in the area? Find the swamp and drain it.

Amanda and Aubrey said...

Well, it's a good plan to keep me from slumming it on your couch.

Paul said...

Hmmm. This reminds me of a time when a father was protecting his two young daughters from an attack mouse, and ended up jumping on top of the dresser.

Felix and Jayne said...

oh my god....a THREE FOOT SNAKE in your attic! hope you're up to date on snake wrangling procedure. like do you have one of those pole things with the hook on the end, you're definitely gonna need one.

Anna Marie said...

Natasha! You just threw away free frog legs!!!!

Madonna Cramer said...

That frog looks like a space alien frog too, just the picture is giving me the heeby jeeby's.

NatBean said...

Ok, yeah. Your hubby's facebook mentioned this when it happened and it has haunted ME ever since. I've been lying in bed at night, staring at the unused attic fan in the ceiling of the hall right outside my room, PARANOID. I mean, had the frog thing happened as an isolated incident, sure, no big deal. A little strange? Yeah. But the snake thing.....eeeeessshhhhh. For me it would be worth the money to have a professional poke around in the attic.

Tasha said...

Don't worry, y'all. I purchased a professional attic lurker/rugged skillz owner about five years ago, and he has secured the area. No snake skins or other evidence of critters found. Seem to be two isolated yet highly coincidental incidences. *Shiver*

And Dad, I'll never forget that for as long as I live. Ever seen a grown man jump three feet into the air? It's possible. I've seen it.

Jill of All Trades said...

That is too funny.

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