Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Battle Royale

I'd like to jump right in today with three signs you might need a makeover.

Don't worry, this will be fun - fun like how jumping into a freezing cold pool fully clothed with your iPhone, full of irreplaceable photos, tucked away in your pocket is fun. Ready? Go:

1. You show your husband and old picture of the two of you and his frank, uninhibited response is, "Wow. You were hot."
2. When you go to a new hairdresser after not having a hair cut for at least eight months (maybe longer - no one is quite sure), her first question is, "So, you're a mom?"
3. Urban Tulsa Weekly hosts a contest based on a most unflattering photo of you. The game? Guess the ID of the columnist in the photo. One of the early guesses: Michael Bates.

No offense, Michael, but I was hoping we looked different enough that folks would be able to tell us apart. It's one thing to be accused of being one and the same with UTW arts writer Holly Wall (I've actually been quite flattered by the recent claims that we're actually one person pretending to be two); it's entirely another to be confused for, well, this:

Michael Bates and Fam

Even though he does make pretty, pretty babies. But still - I'm a lady, he's a dude. I have longish hair and I wear a skirt from time to time; Bates sports a beard and wears a derby hat at Oklahoma Centennial reenactments.

And yet, there's confusion.

How better to exploit my apparent androgynousness and contest-worthy lack of remarkableness than to fight Holly for a makeover, all for the sake of my favorite Tulsa charity? Check it:

I've already convinced you that I'm the one in most need of some heavy-duty primping. All you have to do is head to Resonance Center for Women's home on Facebook. Once you're there, vote for my sad and lonely and makeup-coveting mug by hitting the donate button once or twice or five times.

Then, get on Twitter and tweet @ResonanceTulsa (or on Facebook and write on the wall at /ResonanceTulsa) that you voted for me. Because the girl who raises the most donations in her name by Oct. 15 gets a makeover.

And I really, really need a makeover. Apparently. So be sure you tweet @ResonanceTulsa that you donated in my name or else I could lose to that too-gorgeous-to-be-up-to-any-damn-good Holly Wall.

If I win, I not only get recreated by the Ihloff Salon & Day Spa Creative Team, the one and the same that's putting on the annual and always kick-ass Fall Collection, but I'll also get to strut my buffed-up stuff on the catwalk at this year's show, Fables, Fantasy and Fairy Tales: Once Upon a Time.

Plus, this all comes right in time for my birthday. I officially embark on my late 20s starting Monday, and Fall Collection isn't until the 22nd, but still. They're happening in the same month. Let us not split hairs.

Tickets to this year's Fall Collection are available at both Ihloff locations (Utica Square and South Memorial) and at Dwelling Spaces. They're $15 in advance.

Vote for me, friends. Because Michael Bates wants his identity back.


Carrisa said...

Oh man... who do I vote for? I guess for whoever brings me a bag of double shot coffee beans first. I mean, that's only fair right?

Holly Wall said...

Tasha, you are going to have so much fun watching me on the catwalk at the Fall Collection. I'm really excited for you.

cin said...

Wow, this is too hard because you are BOTH beautiful and both of you deserve makeovers and a run on the catwalk!

Homemaker Hero said...

I'll vote for you, but you owe me cupcakes. ;)

Marty Coleman said...

My new rumor is circulating ladies, you better watch out. I must be a Tashahollyc! That is who I am going to vote for.

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