Woman A, as she caresses a giant bottle of Kraft Ranch Dressing: "Wouldn't this be a nice birthday present to myself?"
Woman B: "Get yourself one. It's only $7.88."
Woman A: "I would, but it'd be gone in a month anyway."
I feel ya, honey. While I'm not a fan of anything Kraft, I could eat homemade buttermilk Ranch dressing on pretty much anything but ice cream. No matter how stuck up about food I try to be, it's not changing anytime soon that I would eagerly consume Ranch dressing intravenously if for some reason my mouth had to be cemented shut.
I blame the four generations' worth of Tulsan blood pumping through my veins for my inability to wholeheartedly enjoy a green salad without drowning it in that lumpy, tangy substance. There is something in our DNA that has culminated over the years into a weakness not only for loud, whiny country music and Cracker Barrel merchandise, but also for Ranch dressing. And, French fries dipped in chocolate shake.
Tulsans, what are your other guilty food pleasures that would make a Yankee swoon?