1. Feel an intense urge to find a "real" pumpkin patch at 5:00 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon.
2. Don't use the Internet or other resource to look up stories on or directories of pumpkin patches or farms in the Tulsa area.
3. Drive "strategically" through the rural areas of the metro, flipping a coin to decide whether to turn right or left at intersections.
4. After one hour of hunting, interrupt friends' and family's evening plans with phone inquiries as to the location of their "favorite pumpkin patch - you know, the kind where you can pick your own?"
5. Stumble upon a real pumpkin patch! Discover the operation closed 15 minutes before your arrival. Peer through the windows of the retail area, looking in vain for straggling staff people, chiming, "We've got a baby out here lookin' to pick his first pumpkin!," hoping to guilt someone into opening up.
6. Take photos of off-limits pumpkin patch. Consider making off with one measly little pumpkin. Remember rural area+stealing=shot gun.
Take more photos instead.
7. After two hours and no freshly harvested pumpkin, drive home listening to the musical stylings of the famished infant in the back seat.
Assuage bad-mommy guilt by making three batches of chocolate chip pumpkin muffins, made from scratch using pumpkins purchased from good ol' Reasor's.
Mmm. Boy, do I feel better now.
Photos taken at Sanders Nursery & Distribution Center Inc., in Broken Arrow at 20705 E. 161st St.